i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
