one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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