I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
one two three fourrrrnication!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
