so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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