I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
we're so committed to being not committed
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
