I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
