I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
