i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
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if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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