I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
