Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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