I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
