remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
