Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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