Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
operation harelip BJ is a go
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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