chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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