yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My breath smells like gin and sadness
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
