Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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