uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
im on a boat
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