So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
