dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
and i looked up. we had an audience...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
