i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
