Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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