i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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