Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
