do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
