so explain again why im purple
no
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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