very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my sisters under your porch take her home
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
