Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
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She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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