she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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