I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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