thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
