i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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