Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
