I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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