I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Its about making memories worth repressing
He felt like a one man threesome
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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