my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
