I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
