he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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