"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
