a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
