at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
