GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
