I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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