Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
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I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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