there's paper in my vomit.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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