apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize