hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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