2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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