She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
