garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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