We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
