I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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