so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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