just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
