we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
