We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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