Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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