Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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