He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize