Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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